I woke up this morning around 8ish looked over at the clock & thought...... Ahhhh I don't have to get up yet! Skyler had spent the night at my parents and so I was taking advantage of being able to sleep in. Finally around 10am I figured I should make my way out of bed :)
I felt so rested when I got up....I looked outside awhile from my bedroom & couldn't get over just how beautiful it was out today.....I mean truly beautiful, the sun was shinning, the icicles were melting right outside my bedroom window, people were walking down the street, and my home was so quiet & peaceful.
My timing couldn't have been any better today...... I got ready & headed out, I wanted to surprise Chris with Lunch & a coffee, cause he was hand bombing a load at Canadian Tire in North Bay. He was just finishing as I got there!!!! Got a few kisses & laughs in, then he was headed to Sudbury to do the same there at Canadian Tire.
Chris & I like any other couple being together this long have had our ups & downs and I am sure will again in the future, but one thing we have on our side is an amazing foundation.
He is the one person I want by my side at all times, when I am in my high times & in my low.
October 2009 was the hardest month ever for both of us. On October 20th I miscarried our baby (Nashville Cockerline) and was rushed to emerge via ambulance for an emergency Dialation and Curettage, my husband/my partner in life was not home......he was in the states on the road supporting his family. My mom met me at the hospital and seen me in a state I am sure she will never be able to erase from her mind. I was scared/in pain and although I had someone with me who loved me, I wanted my husband. My sister was at my house with Skyler, who thank the lord was in bed and had no idea what was happening to her Mommy.
It was the first time I had REAL fear of being alone and not being able to just look after a situation. Being a truckers wife....when the car needs fixing you make sure it gets fixed, when the bills need paying you do the banking, when an appliance breaks you call who needs to be called, when a child is puking you are rubbing their back, giving them their bath & washing the bed sheets, As your husband is on the road just doing what he needs to do.......You are doing the same on the homefront.
But this time I couldn't just handle the situation, and the one person I wanted/needed sadly was unable to be there. As a matter a fact my husband had no idea what had happened untill I was home from the hospital and spoke to him on the phone, I didn't want to tell him his wife had surgery/miscarried their child and spent the night in the hospital over the phone, but when I heard his voice I couldn't contain myself & started to weep so hard I felt like I was reliving every moment of the horrible nightmare. You have to understand I don't blame my husband for not being home, this is our life & this is just how it goes...........Thankfully I was raised as a truckers daughter and have understood how it goes all my life.
The recovery was far more then physical for me, although that had its own set of issues aswell. I was so beaten down inside I had no idea if I would ever feel any Joy in my soul again.
Since Oct.2009 I have had medical issues after medical issue arise, and Chris & I Have had our struggles, But in the end on this beautiful day as I sit here waiting to go pick up my loving husband, and then going to meet my family for dinner, as I look outside & feel the cool air coming in from the window............................................
Lord I thank you for this life you have given me, for all the people whom you have placed within it, each one there for a different reason ready to be available when needed on this map of my life you already have made out.
Simply ~~~~~~~~~~Today~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
